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♣Aiko is my give name.
⇒22 yrs old.
⇒Happily Taken<3.
⇒From Japan.
⇒I am Happy.Friendly.Impulsive. Confusing.Cantankerous.Agnostic. Indecisive.Overbearing.Pierced.
Open-minded.Left-handed.
⇒I love: Boyfriend<3,Long drive,
sleeps,music,being lazy,Winter,
Chocolates,I love to eat ;)
⇒I hate: Green veggies,Crowd
Spiders,Being bored,Work :)
⇒22 yrs old.
⇒Happily Taken<3.
⇒From Japan.
⇒I am Happy.Friendly.Impulsive. Confusing.Cantankerous.Agnostic. Indecisive.Overbearing.Pierced.
Open-minded.Left-handed.
⇒I love: Boyfriend<3,Long drive,
sleeps,music,being lazy,Winter,
Chocolates,I love to eat ;)
⇒I hate: Green veggies,Crowd
Spiders,Being bored,Work :)
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5.19.2015
, 19.5.15
⇨01.
Dear Skepticism,
Why must you infect my brain with your contagious thoughts? You are not content to let me simply accept, you find any way to twist my beliefs into doubts. When I am truly happy, you shatter the illusion and show me exactly why my life is nothing to be pleased about. Mirroring me, images of success and loneliness, you know how to get under my skin. Skepticism, you know my inner self more so than any other, thus you know which strings to pull. I am your marionette, controlled by your twisted intentions. Push and pull the words in my mind, formulate sharp sentences designed to drawn blood from my fragile humanity. The way I hurt others, is multiplied in the way I myself am torn apart.
In this distance, in this loneliness, skepticism welcomes itself to my chemically dyed head, taking it’s place amongst longing and deep hurt. Underneath the surface intelligence, beneath the mathematical formulas and psychology terms, is my fragility. This I admit, not much effects me, except my own carefully targeted words. Why would I allow myself to feel pain at the words of others, when my own mind is so much capable? My inner demons are muted when I am amongst others, when I am laughing with my best friend or in the arms of my boyfriend, but in silence they scream demented tones. “Why would anyone love you?” They taunt me, pulling at my weaknesses. “You really think you have anything going for you besides your intelligence?” They laugh at my naivety. “If you were worth something, to anyone, would your phone really be so silent?” They say the things I do not want to hear. They speak the truths I try to forget.
Skepticism, please take a leave and allow me some peace of mind. A good night’s sleep would be beneficial, I am sick of this restlessness. The distance itself is enough, I do not need your constant reminders of what it might mean. I know you find pleasure in twisting at the corners of my mind, but please fuck off. I do not need the constant doubts you provide me with. This weekend has given you sufficient time to point out exactly how I feel, I get it. Skepticism, I know you only want to protect me, but it’s much too late for that. I am old enough to make my own mistakes and hold my own beliefs so please, fuck off. I am done with you telling me who does not care about me. You are not a good friend, understand that I want nothing to do with you. You only bring me down.
Sincerely,
Me
In this distance, in this loneliness, skepticism welcomes itself to my chemically dyed head, taking it’s place amongst longing and deep hurt. Underneath the surface intelligence, beneath the mathematical formulas and psychology terms, is my fragility. This I admit, not much effects me, except my own carefully targeted words. Why would I allow myself to feel pain at the words of others, when my own mind is so much capable? My inner demons are muted when I am amongst others, when I am laughing with my best friend or in the arms of my boyfriend, but in silence they scream demented tones. “Why would anyone love you?” They taunt me, pulling at my weaknesses. “You really think you have anything going for you besides your intelligence?” They laugh at my naivety. “If you were worth something, to anyone, would your phone really be so silent?” They say the things I do not want to hear. They speak the truths I try to forget.
Skepticism, please take a leave and allow me some peace of mind. A good night’s sleep would be beneficial, I am sick of this restlessness. The distance itself is enough, I do not need your constant reminders of what it might mean. I know you find pleasure in twisting at the corners of my mind, but please fuck off. I do not need the constant doubts you provide me with. This weekend has given you sufficient time to point out exactly how I feel, I get it. Skepticism, I know you only want to protect me, but it’s much too late for that. I am old enough to make my own mistakes and hold my own beliefs so please, fuck off. I am done with you telling me who does not care about me. You are not a good friend, understand that I want nothing to do with you. You only bring me down.
Sincerely,
Me